Do it for us. But, what about for me?

   A smile creeps onto my face, the biggest one that's been there for a while. I can't really explain what caused it. Whether it was my latest fave song coming through my headphones, the fact that I faced a huge fear of mine today or the fact that things for us are back to normal... Or maybe it's all those reasons? Either way, im sure as hell glad for it. The way im feeling right now is the feeling you get when your high- as if nothing will touch you, nothing can bring your mood down and nothing will ever go wrong. I like this feeling. C:

  I've been doing a lot of thinking while i've been here and it's made me wonder.. Am I really capable of accomplishing all that I plan to do in the next year? Get into a UWC, raised $20k for my Service project to Kenya this summer, change someones life, etc. I really hope that I will be able to accomplish all of these things, so that I dont let my family, friends and myself down. For so long I've been doing what people have wanted me to do, whether it was applying to a certian school, working on a certian project or doing a certian favour for them... This holiday made me realize that I have forgotten what I truely want. What will truely make me happy. I guess it's why im having such a hard time coming to terms with things like UWC, me and you... It's because I know that you want it and I know that everyone wants me to go to UWC, but im not longer sure if it's what I want. When my mom talks about how she had known about UWC for years before I did and that it was one of the reasons we moved so close to Pearson it hurts me, because it makes me feel like it was her decision for my future instead of my own. I guess I just need a sign, a sign that UWC is a good decision for my future, something that I will truely want, rather then just what everyone wants for me.

*Sighs* It's true when they say the teenage years are the hardest.

QOTB: I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood.