Ladies and Gentlemen, Boy and Girls.

20 reasons to smile today:

1. You woke up before your alarm
2. Your favorite song comes on while you get ready (Pop goes the world)
3. The birds are singing right outside your window
4. Finding money in your old jeans pocket
5. Recieving a text from that person you have been thinking about all day
6. Giving a hug to your mom
7. Remembering an old joke
8. Friends that make you laugh
9. Knowing that you made a persons day, just by being yourself
10. Letting your feet hang over the water
11. Sitting in the sun
12. Looking at old photos
13. Finding old letters
14. Doing an anonymous good deed for someone
15. Knowing that you made someone blush
16. Having an old friend contact you out of the blue
17.  Seeing a lil kid doing something insanely cute
18.  When you realize you were singing in public
19.  When your friends go outa their way to make you smile
20. When you make someone else smile

The light inside me, will never be estinguished.

   Well, after two years of waiting... The results are in. Sadly, I didn't get accepted to United World Colleges. It's been over 24hours since I found out, but it still stings.  I know life is about putting yourself on the line, risking everything to achieve your dreams... But what happens when you don't make it? Does that mean that you're not good enough? Everyone around me; my friends, my family, are speechless. They look at me with pity, with confusion. They don't understand it either. They are waiting for me to cry, but I can't cry any longer. They wait for me to scream words of hate and anger, but I feel no anger. They all asume that my inner fire has been estinguished... But it hasn't. Deep inside me, my wick is still alight. It may not be a huge flame right now, but it's still on fire.

  I am not going to dwell on this bump on the road of my life. It is only an obsticle after all. Life will go on, I will continue to put my entire self into everything I do. I will live each day to the fullest, embracing life and the opportunities it gives me. If anything, not getting into UWC will only drive me to do better in life, to exceed others expectations and my own. With or without them, I will make a difference in the world.

  A special thank you to all of my friends and my family, that have been completely supportive while I handled all of this. You guys have been so supportive this whole time, believing in me when I couldn't. Without you guys, I wouldn't even be half of the person I am now. You have always believed in me and all of my dreams. Because of you, I will never give up on my dreams. I love you all so much.

QOTB: Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside of you that is greater than any obstacle.

Let's believe.

I believe,
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I believe,
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a loved one cries out to you- you will find the will to help.

I believe,
That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe,
That sometimes the person you expected to kick you when you fall down, will be the ones that will help you back up.

I believe,
That true friendship continues to grown, even over the longest distance.

I believe,
That there is someone out there for everyone.

I believe,
That we all have the ability to change someone's life with nothing more than a kind gesture.

I believe,
That we all have the ability to make our dreams come true.

I believe,
That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I believe,
That the past is behind us, with love in front and all around us.

Dear you.

Dear you,

Your nice.
Your sweet.
But very akward.
It's fun.
I like you.

Sincerely,
Me.

Love in my pocket.

You gave me something special,
in the shape of a heart.
There was a story behind it,
a wonderful one at that.
I now keep it on me always.
So that whenever im feeling blue,
I just have to pull it out
and then I think of you.
I keep it in my pocket
and the thought of it makes me smile.
For now wherever I go,
I know i've got love in my pocket.

Unique like a brown skittle

Gah! Have to write this down, cuz it just made my 2010 (even though 2010 is only two days old) CURTIS BABY. You are the best. When everyone's been going in and out of my life, you've stuck around. Whenever I've needed to vent, a shoulder to cry on, a hug to cheer me up or some inspirational words to keep me going towards my goal of UWC, you've been one of those people I could always count on! Me and you have been through a lot bud, we dated and yet we were still able to remain friends. Seeing how much you believe in me makes me believe in myself and reach for my goal even more. You are a fantastic friend and I hope we will be in eachothers lives until you are old and wrinkly (I won't be of course, due to botox), in our rocking chairs playing Wii! Your one in a kabillion babe and im one of the luckiest chicks in the world to be able to call you my friend :)
P.s. thanks for the quote bud :P

QOTB (quote of this blog): you are unique like a brown skittle. because there has never been a brown skittle. and there shall never be another.

The reason for the season baby.

   Happy Christmas everyone. I hope the true reason for this season is still in your heart. Not the presents and the baubles, but the togetherness, the laughter and the love. For me, it wasn't the opening of the presents or the enthusiam towards the gifts that made me smile, but those lingering moments, the laughter and smiles when remembering those fond past christmas memories and the love that floated over everyone like a cloud of smoke. Sadly, no matter what... I always get down around the holidays. Christmas gets more commercialized each year and there is nothing I can do about it but sit there and watch as it consumes the people around me. Not with the fact that this season is supposed to bring us together, to make us thankful with what we have and who we have in our lives... . But rather the people are consumed in last minute shopping, what they will recieve and who can purchase the greatest gift. For all you out there that still remember the true meaning of christmas in your heart, then I give you my congratulations. Cherish those smiles... Those moments of laughter and those moments that make your heart swell with joy as you realize how lucky you truely are and never let the true meaning of christmas fade.

   Birthday in 2 days. My current feeling about this include: anxiousness, nerviousness and "blindness".  So many things will take place in my 16th year of life including either acceptance or rejection to UWC, Service project to Kenya, whether or not i'll be able to raise $12,000 for Kenya and so much more. I think my biggest fear about turning 16 is that I know as soon as I do, there is no hiding from what lies ahead. No backing out, or running away. I will have to face my future with an open mind, a understanding heart and a couragious soul. We'll just have to wait and see how it turns out!

Quote of the day:
"The smoothest way is full of stones" - Yiddish proverb

If it's going to be, it's up to me!

Today= Beyond damn words. So many amazing things happened. I realized how much I am in love, I realized how amazing my family is and I realized that the reality of UWC is NOW within arms reach.

WHERE TO START?! Well, Bradley since I know you are probs gunna be the first person to read this, im going to write about us first. Today was literly beyond words. I love how something I find like a second nature to do, you see as one of the most amazing acts of kindness ever. My goal in life is to help the less fortunate, so when I get down on the level of a homeless man, introduce myself to him and let him know that I notice him and that I care by offering him some comfort by getting him food... I love how you see how important acts of kindness are. We all must realize that we don't always need to give something... But even if we can just aknowledge the less fortunate and let them know that we care and want to help, whether it is through a smile, a kind word or a warm meal... It will make that persons day. We don't need to do it all, but if we all do something no matter how big or small, we could really get all the homeless off the streets.
(Btw Brad, today was one of my favorite days of my life so far. Te amo baby)

My family is amazing. They are all so supportive and I just know my dream for UWC is just as much as my dream as it is theirs for me. My mom came into my room tonight and told me that she moved our family out here so that we could be closer to UWC Canada. "Rach, I thought that if we moved out here then that was my way of putting my dream for you in your view. After that I knew it was your choice as to whether you would make the dream yours or not." LOVE YOU SO MUCH MOM.

Oh. and about UWC. Found out now that if I do get accepted I have ways of getting the whole $66,000 scholarship paid for. UWC IS FINALLY IN SIGHT PEOPLE! I can feel it, only two months until applications have to be in. It is no longer a want or a need to go to UWC's, its going to happen.

Quote of this blog (going to do this all the time starting now)

"IF IT'S GOING TO BE, IT'S UP TO ME!"

I'm going to love you with my life.

You ask what it is that makes me love you. It's as if you want me to just say one thing... but it's all the little things that make me love you so much...

I love the way you eyes seem to brighten up when you see me..
I love the way you wrap your arms around me from behind..
I love the way your smell still lingers on me after your gone..
I love how your such a goof... Especially since your my goof..
I love that you are willing to just hold me all night long..
I love how you are comfortable enough to show me all your colours..
I love how you make me laugh..
I love how sensitive and honest you are..
I love how you respect me.. Treating me so well..
I love the way just being around you makes my heart swell with joy..
What can I say baby, It's all these reasons and more... that I love you for. <3

So long, farewell (we'll miss you)

Today was not a good day. It started off alright, saw all my friends, got a 100% on my oral presentation in spanish (that I was up all night doing!) and then as I was in 2nd block and the announcements came on over the intercom, my day completely fell apart. Richard, this special needs boy from my school that I have send hours upon hours working with since March of last year.. Died over the weekend. I couldn't believe it. It was just Friday that I was spending time with him.. Talking to him, playing with him, watching him smile.. And now hes gone. I completely lost it.. Started crying in class to the point that I was in hysterics and that my teacher had to remove me from the class. Ended up just leaving school, I couldn't be around there. Walked the 20km home and it took a couple hours but I feel it was just what I needed. I was on the goose soI had the freedom to cry... to let myself express everything I was feeling.. I think it was exactly what I needed.

Richard Poole, I know your up in heaven with god now and I want to say that im going to miss you so much hunny, you really were one of gods wonderful gifts.