A Journey, not a destination.

    Lots went down this weekend. I am happy to say that our "Bottles for Kenya" bottle drive was a HUGE success, raising almost 2 thousand dollars (grand total of: $1,567). It was great to have students from my school, along with from Pearson College working together to make a difference. I had nothing to worry about!

  Lot's going through my mind in the last couple of days. For one, my principle asked me to go to Ontario on a Rotary youth program in May to represent this part of the Island. AM SO PUMPED. All expenses paid too... How great is that?! Lot's of other stuff has been going down. It's been 5weeks since applications for UWC went in and I'm nervous as heck. They still haven't contacted me with whether I have an interview or if I am not being considered as a future student. I hope it is really soon..

 Thanks to all of my friends that came out on Saturday to help with the bottle drive. I know some of you tried to make it, but had things to do, but I am very greatful to those of you that could make it. You were the reason it was a great success!


 QOTB:When considering change, remember — there is an emotional connection necessary for people to commit to new ways.
~ Stacy Aaron








Lay your hands- Simon Webbe.

The way we are.

     This morning as I was taking the school bus to school, I groggily gazed out my window. A boy about my age was sitting on a bench, his face solemn and grim, as he looked forward, his eyes blank. A couple blocks later, we passed a man singing and humming to a tune playing on his Ipod. Seeing this man so open with his mood made me smile. These were two very different people with very different moods. As I thought of how my own mood has been lately; cranky, annoyed and I couldn’t help but think of how my mood must be affecting those around me. Did you know that it is about 17% of your mood that is transferred to everyone that you interact with? This fact makes me feel guilty. 17% of my crabby mood has been transferred to all of my friends, my family and all the people I have interacted with in the last 3 days. We must always be cautious of how our moods affect others, for sometimes it might end up ruining their meal, their hour or even their day.

   A lot has been going on. Recently has been my first time organizing a major fundraiser, and it has beeen a mess and somewhat a success and it hasn't even happened yet! I unno. Will write more about it once it is over. I hope it works out well. *crosses fingers*

The Waiting Game.

This is it, probably the hardest part of applying for anything. The waiting. About 6 weeks of pure paranoia that I wont make it to the next stage. My palms start getting sweaty whenever UWC is brought up. I know I’ve made it to the third part of the process, now I’m jut waiting to figure out if I have made it to the interview process or not. Many, man students applied from all over the World this year; India, Guatemala, Canada, Afghanistan, Columbia, Peru, Bosnia, etc. Less than 2000 people will get accepted and have the opportunity to go to a UWC within their lifetime. 50 kids can go to Pearson College this year, but since I live so close I can’t. Less than 10 kids from Canada will have the chance to go to a. International UWC this year. My chance of getting is pretty slim this year, but still I keep faith. I know that if I am not accepted, it will be hard. It will hurt my pride, myself and my friends and family that have been supporting me through this whole experience. It will take sometime, maybe a month, maybe a year even to get over it, but I know that there will be other opportunities. I don’t have to go to UWC, if they don’t want me then I will have to learn to accept that fact, but instead of thinking less of myself, I will do that much better and make them wish I had been accepted. I would love to be a part of UWC and have that help me make a difference, but the truth is that I will be the difference I wish to see with or without United World Colleges.
QOTB: “Be true to yourself. If you cannot put your full heart into it, take yourself out of it.” –Rachel H

All I need to believe, is a friend like you.

  A while ago, I got this email from one of my bestfriends in response to my blog post. No one has ever made me feel so confident to the fact that I can make a difference. This guys is the most amazing person I've ever met.. He is full of enough love to hold the entire world in his arms. He see's people for who they are and never lies, never takes anything or anyone for granted. He really appreciates everything people do for him and always see's the best in every situation. He is the most amazing person I've ever met and im so glad to call him my friend. Love you Curtis James Quinlan Horner and thankyou for making such a difference in my life. :)


My dear friend,


It may be true that indeed you havent been there very much. It is true that i truely miss you alot. but those few moments where you are there, i savour them. I know the stressful path that is laid before you, and i understand the massive burden that you bare, and im not mad at you in the least. I look at you and i smile, i think to myself, that is one determined girl who is persuing her lifes dream with every inch of her being and then some. it is truely admirable; inspirational. how many people do you know that are doing the same thing? nobody i know makes the kind of sacrifices that you make. you might think im against you because you're never there. but you're wrong, im behind you in this; in everything. I believe that you need someone to be there for you when you need them, who will not abandon you to deal with things alone. i wont leave you, i cant, you dont need imaginary friends Rachel, because you have a real one right before your eyes.
UWC is a big deal for you; the biggest deal and i have unbelieveable confidence in you, im not putting expectations on you because im not wanting you to fulfil my dream, i want you to do it because its wat you want to do. I know ur probably gonna hate me for saying this but... ok worst case scenario, you dont get in. Yes people will be dissapointed but it will be because they knew its wat you wanted. they will not dissown you, they will be proud of you with every fibre in their body. they will love you, your family will love you, I will love you no matter what happens. You shouldnt think about dissapointing everyone. you should be sooo damn proud of yourself for having a dream and persuing it. you can walk with your head held high knowing that you gave gave everything your best and then decided that wasnt good enough so u made your best even better. even if you dont get in you will change this world one way or another. there will be changes flyin left right and center that world wont know what to do with them all ;). You've already changed one persons world already and your only 16. You dont need UWC to make a difference, the UWC needs you love :). Your going to accomplish unbelieveable things in your life Rachel. I believe in you :). Try your best, ill be there to support you. rise to the top, and ill be there to help you celebrate. If you fall, ill be there to catch you, and congratulate you on a job well done.
Im sorry, this may not mean much comming from me... but i mean every word

Love you lots oxox

Your Eternal Friend

The Dork, Curtis James Quinlan Horner
Quote:

"you are unique like a brown skittle. because there has never been a brown skittle. and there shall never be another."

Do it for us. But, what about for me?

   A smile creeps onto my face, the biggest one that's been there for a while. I can't really explain what caused it. Whether it was my latest fave song coming through my headphones, the fact that I faced a huge fear of mine today or the fact that things for us are back to normal... Or maybe it's all those reasons? Either way, im sure as hell glad for it. The way im feeling right now is the feeling you get when your high- as if nothing will touch you, nothing can bring your mood down and nothing will ever go wrong. I like this feeling. C:

  I've been doing a lot of thinking while i've been here and it's made me wonder.. Am I really capable of accomplishing all that I plan to do in the next year? Get into a UWC, raised $20k for my Service project to Kenya this summer, change someones life, etc. I really hope that I will be able to accomplish all of these things, so that I dont let my family, friends and myself down. For so long I've been doing what people have wanted me to do, whether it was applying to a certian school, working on a certian project or doing a certian favour for them... This holiday made me realize that I have forgotten what I truely want. What will truely make me happy. I guess it's why im having such a hard time coming to terms with things like UWC, me and you... It's because I know that you want it and I know that everyone wants me to go to UWC, but im not longer sure if it's what I want. When my mom talks about how she had known about UWC for years before I did and that it was one of the reasons we moved so close to Pearson it hurts me, because it makes me feel like it was her decision for my future instead of my own. I guess I just need a sign, a sign that UWC is a good decision for my future, something that I will truely want, rather then just what everyone wants for me.

*Sighs* It's true when they say the teenage years are the hardest.

QOTB: I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood.

In the arms of the wind.

  As I sat on the beach tonight, looking at the stars and letting the sand run through my fingers, a smile crept along my face. As I looked out onto the ocean and saw a whale come up for air, my skin trembled. As I listened to the wind sweep through the palm trees, I couldn't help but sigh. I laid back and looked up to the sky. The stars littered the blackened canvas, creating their own patterns within the skies masterpiece. My heart was swollen with content, breathing in the smell of the ocean and exclosing it within my lungs for as long as I could, as if doing so would keep the memory within me forever. I was captured, captured within the illusion this night took me into. Nothing could hurt me , for the stars looked down on me and the wind held me within it's arms. I wish I could have shared it with all the people close to me, all the people that would have been able to understand the magic of that moment.  I wish I could have taken ahold of your hand and whispered in your ear "Come with me, into the arms of the wind."

QOTB: The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose.

Painted on my face, by the brush of truth.

   Was moved today by a very special person. He was an old Hawaiin who preaches his beliefs. "Our bills say in god we trust, but when was the last time the people in the White House read the bible?" "Woman are the more patient ones, for they had to wait 9months for their babies." As people listened, rolled their eyes and moved on, I sat down and just listened. Listened to what he had to say for nearly a hour.. Listened as he talked about life, death, pain, passion, peace. I sat on the grass in front of him, agreeing with everything that emerged from his mouth. Just as I was about to leave, he said something that made me feel as if he was talking to me and only me. " You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself." Once he had said that, he closed his eyes and held out his hands.. I don't know what caused me to do it, but I stood up and took his hands in mine. "Thank you" was all I said. As I left to head back to my hotel, I looked back only once.. To see a small smile on his face.