It feels like peace.

This morning was so amazing. I just want to share it. The way i was feeling was so unreal.

This morning, I woke up to the flashing of my phone at 4am. 17unread messages. For some reason I couldn't face them so I turned off my phone. Outa bed and called Fernando. I just couldn't sit still, needed to get out. 2 hours later we were out in Ladysmith and our kayaks were off the car and ready for the water. It was chilly, I could feel the breeze of the ocean nipping against my bare skin. It felt so natural as my kayak slipped into the water. My hands gripping the paddle, taking that first stroke . After the first one, it was like an addiction. I just couldn't stop, couldn't slow down. Fernando just couldn't keep up, so I pulled ahead. I just felt so driven, by everything that has been going on lately. Stress from school, Richard dying, my grandmother health getting worse... It was just sureal.
Finally, I just stopped. I was done, I couldn't believe how amazing I felt. It was just as if everything that seemed to be dragging me down lately had just been lifted. I had paddled it away. It was fantastic.Looking around me, land seemed so far away. I had no idea where I was! Looking at my watch, I was shocked to see that it was 9am! I had been kayaking for three hours. Tears started rolling down my face. I took our my cellphone and called Fernando. He didn't ask questions, just told me to go up to a boat, find my location and he would come pick me up in his boat. by 10:30 I was back at the Marina. Fernando wasn't mad for me ditching him, and the ride back to my place he just listened as I described to him what had happened. He's such a good friend that one, he just understands. He never judges, he never complains, it's great. He's moving tomorrow so we are going out to dinner tonight. Im going to miss him, but I know that his job opportunity in Spain is a great one and it will be an amazing experience for him.

*SIGHS*