Eternal Childhood. <3

The sun is out for the first time in weeks. The skies finally blue, with clouds ready to burst lingering overhead. It's period three, the period of the school when I work as a teachers assistant and work with the special needs students. Today, I work with Micheal and we go outside. Basketball in hand, he runs inhead of me, straight towards the puddles. He may be 17years old, but he has a gift. A gift of childhood forever. While the rest of us grow old, Michael's love and innocence will remain. As I look forward, I see him running through puddles. The old rain water sprays all over his front, drenching him from head to toe. Does he complain? No. Rather, he comes up to me and gives me a big hug. A wet one I might add! I let him continue to play as I sit on the steps and look up. I love the sky after it rains. There is always a mix of dark clouds and white clouds, leaving what comes next a mystery. "Rae, Rae!" Michael says, which is his best attempt at my name due to his speaking disorder, as he jumps up and down waving me over.  As I walk over to him, he crouches down and motions for me to do the same. As I look back at him wondering what to do next, he points down. In front of us is a puddle, with our reflections staring back at us. "Mike" He says as he points as his reflection. "Rae" I say as I point at mine. But he shakes his head. "No. That friend. Mike's Friend." A smile covers my face. "Yes, that she is Mike. That she is." :)

I'm going to love you with my life.

You ask what it is that makes me love you. It's as if you want me to just say one thing... but it's all the little things that make me love you so much...

I love the way you eyes seem to brighten up when you see me..
I love the way you wrap your arms around me from behind..
I love the way your smell still lingers on me after your gone..
I love how your such a goof... Especially since your my goof..
I love that you are willing to just hold me all night long..
I love how you are comfortable enough to show me all your colours..
I love how you make me laugh..
I love how sensitive and honest you are..
I love how you respect me.. Treating me so well..
I love the way just being around you makes my heart swell with joy..
What can I say baby, It's all these reasons and more... that I love you for. <3

In the eyes of a young girl.

Blank stares, a unreadable gaze looking back at you. Don't you wish, that you could tell what she was thinking? Don't you wish you could know what was racing through her mind, right here, right now. Are you curious as to what she thinks about you? Are you curious as to what she thinks about life? Somedays, you just find her so easy to read. Her feelings, her thoughts, seem to be written all over her face. She is like a book waiting for you to read. Other days, there is no way of knowing. No way for you to know what is going on inside of her. Why? Because, she is scared. Scared of how you would react if you knew... Knew how she was feeling, how she was thinking... Oh the mysteries.....

...In the eyes of a young girl.

Pay me back with a thousand kisses.

RENT. Such a good movie. About homeless people and their struggle with aids. Expressed as a musical it touches the heart on so many levels. Watching this movie makes me realize how it doesn't matter how much shit life throws at us, as long as we have people around us who love us. My most favourite line from this movie is "You can pay me back with  thousand kisses." This movie makes me truely appreciate how lucky I am to have so many people around me who love and support me.

Anyways! Apparently it's that time of year again. Ho Ho...Ho?
I used to love Christmas so much but now.... Not so much. It depresses me how commercialized Christmas has become. The traditional symbol of Christmas used to be Jesus in the Manger, but NOW its a frigggen Christmas present. Just another way to get people to buy more stuff that they don't really need. Bah Hum Bug. What happened to the true meaning of christmas?!

Baby, you make me believe.

 Tears, streaming down my face. I feel defeated. I just want to curl up in bed and stay there until the feeling passes. I want so dearly to give up. As I put my face into my hands, I notice my ring. I look down it and read what it says "Believe". My bestfriend who died four years ago gave me this ring. I recieved in the mail a month after he died. A note was attached. It only had  17 words. "Even when you don't believe in yourself, know that no matter where I am, I believe in you." This memory, is like a flicker of flame... but a fire can't survive without something to burn. You are the fuel for my inner fire. What keeps it from dying, what has the ability to make it big and powerful. Your what I need. You feed the fire within me. Chad always believed in me, but it means more to me to know that you believe in me now.. and that you are still here. Everyone else that has said that, I just couldn't help but doubt them. But you... you I trust. I know you believe in me, so I shall believe in myself. Cuz I love you and I know that you will be there always. I will not give up. When they kick me down, I will get back up and be stronger than before. For with your love, I will not surrender. I will believe. In our love, in your faith, in myself.

The perfect "We".

When it comes to lovin' couples,
don't we make the perfect pair-

There's romance, love, and laughter

in the friendship that we share.

We care enough to listen,

to trust and understand.
side by side and hand in hand,

We both know that we're lucky

and we've got a good thing going.

Through ups and downs

and give and take,

our love just keeps on growing...

'Cause I bring out the best in you,

and you the best in me-

I guess it takes the two of us

to make the perfect "we."

Love you Bradd! <3

See that girl? She's a uniquer.

Quarky.. Akward... Weird.. Strange... Funny... Lovable... Unusual... Unique. All of these are words that I have heard when I ask people "What do you think of me?" Personally, I like to be thought of as Uniquer :)

   There are just so many things about me that are different. For example, I love taking pictures. Not just of things like plants and such, but of people. Not of people I know, but of random people that I see. I may not know them, but I believe that a picture is worth a thousand words and with a good photo you can imagine what their story is.

  My idea of a fun weekend is doing a 8hour shift at the homeless shelter in Victoria. Unlike some people who  believe that these guys decided to be homeless, I know different. It makes it all worth those endless hours of being elbow deep in soup and mayo sandwhiches when that one person comes up to me, gives me a big smile and says "thank you".

  I've never been able to be part of just one clique. Im a jock, a nerd, a goth, a rebel and a tree hugger all in one package! People find it odd that im friends with the football captain, the schools well known stoner, the top acedemic student and even some of the caf kids (who are some pretty spamtastic people if you get to know them).

  These are just some of the things that I am. My hope is that people will never be able to find a term to define me other than "Unique".

The release.

  It was quiet. The only noise that could be heard was the fallen leaves being crushed under your footsteps. You continue walking. The only way of navigation is the light from the full moon that rests above you in the night sky. The wind blows strongly around you, causing goosebumps to arrise on your skin. You pull your sweater tighter around you and speed up. Right now, you are going against everything you know to be right. You know that by doing this, you will be dissapointing those that love you, that are back home tucked into their beds. You should be there too; at home, asleep and safe. You just couldn't help but take the risk though. Being back there was like being burried alive: No one could hear your cries for help and you felt as if the air was being snatched away from your lungs.

   You've been walking for a hour now. So close to your destination that it makes your blood turn hot. No matter how strong your urge is to slow down and take a breath, you keep on going, scared that if you stopped, someone would hear you. Left foot forward, then right, then left. On and on you keep this pattern going, until... You can smell it, before you can even see it. The mixed smell of salt, seaweed and the beach. You let out a breath of ease. Your finally safe. No one will find you or disturb you here. The moons image mirrors on the great sea. The waves mesmorize you, as they crash against the shore. You can almost hear the ocean speaking to you "Come away with me, come away to a place where you can be free." You think of your family, of how they will react when they find you not in your bed. Will they be worried? Will they know where to find you? You shake your head, ridding your brain of those questions and just thinking about the ocean. You kick your shoes off, and slowly walk to the waters edge. A wave hits your foot and sends shivers up your spine, making your teeth chatter but you don't stop there. Within 5steps, the water is up to your waist. There is no turning back now.